Chemistry Midterm Exam
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why
we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
_Bonus Question_: Is Hell
exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student,
however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to
know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will never leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions
that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not
a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong
to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume
in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and Class
Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that
it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only
Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why
Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Submitted by Richard P.
Last updated: 2006/08/02